Regnum Beati

I, residing in the chair of comfortitude and having dominion over this blessed realm, henceforth declare this day and all of the following unto eternity or until that time at which this day shall cease in its existence forthwith to be dubbed and celebrated as Malt Monday.

If there be any herein who shall deny this day in its golden malted glory, let him reflect on the words of Housman, a learned doctor of this realm who boldly said "... malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man..." If such there be who shall desecrate said golden malted glory and its appointed day, let him be anathema.