green sweater days...

Hmmm sooo what to write..... But lets see. Sometimes, dont you just feel like swearing? Yeah it's been one of those days. And not just regular swearing, you know here and there when you're mad, but one of those days you just feel like every word deserves an expletive. It's as if it just started out wrong the night before. When you're tired but can't sleep because your bed is uncomfortable, and you're freezin your ever lovin feet off....how ones feet are everlovin, I'm not quite sure..but anyhow...yeah and when you get up you can see your breath...well I mean that's not really a horrible thing, but I dunno it seems to allll come together at some point. You're kind of mad for no reason, the day is cold and grey, here comes the rain to top it all off. It's your day off, but there's a lot to do, and out in the cold, with no one to help. Fences to build and fix, leaves to be picked up, apples to be dealt with, and all the while when you're making this mental list, you look up into the disheartening sky and remember that it's supposed to snow that day, and nothing is done. One consolation is that with the coming of snow comes a beautiful thing called snowboarding. However, as this thought is slowly warming you up you find out someone is not doing what they are supposed to be doing, what they should have had done weeks ago, and they whine at you about how cold it is. At that point, it's all over, and suddenly every noun must, by all means, be accompanied by an utterance of seemingly monumental sorts. Flooding into your mind comes a million other reasons to be ticked off, from no food in the house when you're starving, to no dry wood when youre freezing. You look banefully around the room for anyone who will venture into your destructive path. Fortunately they are all out of sight... fortunately for them anyhow... The day looks more dismal by the second.
But you know, then there are those little things, those little rays of sunshine that seem to break through, and remind you, with a few expletives nevertheless, that really the world is not ending, the sky is not falling, and that mankind is not irremediable, contrary to ever-so-recent staggering substantiation of these facts. Like my youngest neice for example. There she was sitting quietly on a sheep skin in front of a fire, wearing a green sweater that her dad, and all the rest of us wore when we were ten months. You know, ten months, heck that's nothing! and already there she is with a little personality, and not a demon either, thank god. And when she sees me out goes her little hands and a little smile lights up her serious face. Maybe my days are not that bad after all when God can make such a beautiful little thing happy even when she has to rely completely on others who may or may not be responsible enough to do what needs to be done. It's a beautiful thing, a child playing by themselves. Maybe I should do the same thing and quit being selfish thinking someone always has to be there to keep me company and help me out. Maybe that's why children get so many graces...God helps those who help themselves, eh?...
Well, it's still one of those days when I feel like swearing, but now I guess I can swear about things because I'm a little content, even if things aren't going the best. I said to my friend the other day that there are only three times I swear. When I'm furious, when I'm scared, and finally when I'm overwhelmed. Whether that's overwhelmed in a good way or not, those words still seem to begin to suffice, to begin to describe the indescribable. Hmm, call my vocabulary stinted, but sometimes the familiar needs to be described by the familiar. And those green sweater days, those are the days that we should keep familiar......

11-05-05