Pain is an interesting thing. A strange thing. It seems so ruthless and raging when you are consumed by it, yet, it's so hard to remember. Of course there's always a little red sign in your head to remind you of the time, but if you really try and think about it, think about how bad it really hurt, it's almost impossible to remember. For me anyhow. I guess that's the genius of our creator? Our mind can do so much more than we know, especially with pain. If we don't realize that it's painful, we tend to shirk it off, say it's not so bad. If the worst physical pain you've ever felt was a broken arm or something, then who are you to say it's the greatest pain one could have? I think sometimes you can measure it by how much it takes your breath away? I dont know. It is so hard to concentrate though, when you're in pain...i'ts like there's a sick feeling in your gut besides the actually hurt; your throat sticks, and your tongue cleaves to your jaw. You realize after awhile that your shoulders hurt too because your body is trying too hard to deal with the pain that everything else tenses up to try and support the part that's not doing its part. Your teeth are clenched, and finally you end up with a headache too because of it. Pain.... it's so real when it's there...but when it's gone, it's so easy to forget. I can remember all these things, but the pain itself, my mind trys to forget. And when it comes raging back...it's a nightmare all over again -- if only I'd remembered....
But this isn't for the body only...pain in body, soul, mind, heart...it's all the same...if only we could truly remember....but then maybe we'd all feel this way...maybe forgetting is a mercy given to us....
01-15-06
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